Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Fine Print

Scan the fine print. Odds of winning are 1:30,000. Do I scratch? Why not. Scratch (1) scratch (1) scratch (7) scratch (8) scratch (6) Heart is in my throat now and I have forgotten to breathe. Scratch ( 5). I check the numbers again. My husband checks the numbers. Even my daughter checks the numbers. We can't believe it! We won!! Now all we have to do is wait for Tuesday and head over to the dealership to claim our prize.
We're getting a new car today. Not a day too early either. My husband's current car has severe personality issues. Or is it that it wants to be in control? Don't touch the gas and you are speeding down the road going 80 miles an hour, give it a little gas (although if you are already going 80 I am not sure why you would want to) and it dies. We find a dealer and hand him the key and the matching numbers. This is what we hear, "Congratulations! Step right over here, we have a few papers for you to sign and then the car is beep, beep, beep, beep" The car-door-is-open buzzer starts beeping and I am startled out of my daydream. Here's how the conversation REALLY went. "You have won a free MP4 player but we are out of the coupons you need to send off for it. You can come back tomorrow and get the coupon. Be sure to include a $15 payment when you mail the card in." Yep. We got rooked. Somewhere in all of that fine print it said that the de la Rosa family absolutely and unequivocally will not win this car!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

If it weren't for bad luck...

Every week my husband buys a lottery ticket. Every week I watch as he tears them up and throws them in the garbage. I can almost hear his thoughts, "If it weren't for bad luck, we'd have no luck at all."
I know he was thinking the same this morning as he peered through his car window and found the keys he had been turning the house upside down for. Do we have a spare key? Of course not. If we did, I wouldn't be sitting here recounting my woes. I watch as he forlornly goes inside to grab a wire coat hanger. They don't really work any more but I keep my mouth shut. He gets the hanger straightened out and manages to shove it down between the door and the car. We hold our breaths as the hanger snakes it's way toward the lock and stops about 6 inches from our desired destination. Now what? He pulls the hanger out and tries again. Same result. Once again he pulls it out and works it back between the door and the car. Third times a charm, if at first you don't succeed try, try again... It's all about that magical number 3. In frustration he walks away from the car with the hanger sticking out like a wagging finger. I am reminded of the movie Jurassic Park at this point. You know the part where they are trying to hack the computer to get the park back online and you keep hearing, "Uhn, uhn, uhn. Uhn, uhn, uhn."
It's Saturday morning and my students won't be at school today so I offer the use of my truck. I go inside and grab the phone book. Time to start shopping around for a locksmith.
What's this? A car key glued to the front of a card. It's obviously not the key we need but I am intrigued. The card reads, "If you received a key and the scratch off number matches this one 117865 you are the winner of a brand new 2010 Hyundai Sonata." Scan the fine print. Odds of winning are 1:30,000. Do I scratch? Why not. Scratch (1) scratch (1) scratch (7) scratch (8) scratch (6) Heart is in my throat now and I have forgotten to breathe. Scratch (